Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Here, There, and Everywhere...

Honestly, this past week or so....we'll it's given me a ton to think about, contemplate, and ponder over. I've started five new posts, but never finished one of them due to incomplete thoughts. I'm learning it's good to have expression WHILE life is happening, but that thoughts are sometimes best expressed AFTER the lesson has been learned. Right now, I'm still learning a lot of these lessons, and this week, my emotions have been taking me here , there, and everywhere.

I wondered,"How will we combat this constant battle over finances?", after learning through a conversation with the agency that will be doing our home study with, that our start-up fees for our adoption had just dramatically increased due to certain policies they adhere to.

I contemplated, "Why am I the one that has to give up something I want to do just because I'm trying to do what God has asked me to?", after having to make the VERY tough decision that we will not be able to attend the family "reunions" trip(one on Mark's side/one one my side) we have been planning and saving for for over a year and a half.

I've witnessed that, "some might not understand or be willing to hear what our hearts are saying," after finally pursuing what has been years of pondering how we might move into a neighborhood where we can be more effective in, help neighbors in need, and build a above-garage apartment to house a person in who doesn't have a home.

All of this, took me some time to process...and many more thoughts will be shared from what has been birthed through these experiences of ours.

But here's where I sit after a week and a half of thought: My God, my very good God, does not stand by in idle abyss while this life of mine is happening. He has, in my moments of doubts and selfishness spoken His Spirit into my soul. He reminds me that he is BOTH the maker and partaker of these dreams of ours. He also reminds me that seeking Him and truly living out life by His accord, means sacrifice and knowing that sometimes you may "stand alone" among people. And with these things that I have learned, I am satisfied and know that that the "here, there, and everywhere" places that I have been are a welcomed process for my soul.

Tiffany

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